TOTO Washlets Answer the Question You Never Thought to Ask: What Does It Feel Like To Have a Million Baby Unicorns Lick Your Bottom Clean?

I first experienced a TOTO Washlet over a decade ago during an event I had organized at Google's Mountain View campus. My lovely Miss poked fun at me over the course of the week as I messaged photos of the toilet to her with various captions containing the words "need," "want," and "unicorns."